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Musings in these troubled times

I take a moment to assimilate what is happening in the country currently. People desperately scrounging for hospital beds, oxygen cylinders and Remdisivir. A government which fails to act on these needs, a plethora of Whatsapp forwards which are adding to the panic and a growing population of fools who refuse to stay indoors - all of this infuriates me.

Having stayed indoors for more than a year now and not having socialised or met anyone besides my family, i often feel helpless. I feel it is grossly unfair that people get to continue with their lives as if nothing has happened while i have to stay indoors to protect myself. Initially the proposition was to protect my parents and now it is to protect myself. The danger however lies with the fact that i could have not moved out at all but others who come in contact with me may have.This invariably makes me vulnerable to the virus even though i am housebound all the time.

I try to reason this out another way. I am an introvert. So why do i feel frustrated at the inability to be able to move? After deliberation i realise that it is not the inability to move that frustrates me but the inability to take a decision based on my will that bothers me. Isn’t that what independence signifies? To be able to take your own decisions and bear the perils of the same. This is something which we tolerated as kids but as adults it seems to be a difficult task. Indian parents don’t make it any easier.

I look back at my posts from March 2020 and notice the zeal in my words, when we all thought the lockdown was a temporary situation that needed to be dealt with optimism. I read everything under the sun, took care of my diet and health and focussed on the things that mattered to me. I still continue to. I have been fortunate to stay in a state that is relatively less populated and allows me to at least go for a drive on the lone lanes when i feel claustrophobic, a feat which i couldn’t even dream of in a metro.

However, like all humans we do have our limits. We too have our moments of doubt and pessimism regarding the future of this pandemic. And in these moments we need to have the courage to look at the bigger picture.

It is a proven fact that even one dose of the vaccine provides enough protection from the virus. Two doses? Even better. Now that the government has finally opened up the vaccine to all, we do have better days to look forward to.

So how do i keep myself optimistic about the future? It is the same set of rules - Focus on myself and take it a day at a time. Stay indoors as much as possible and step out only with a mask. That’s the only way i can contribute my bit.

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